I work in an office full of armless people

That's the only possible explanation that I can imagine.

Here's the evidence:

1. Every other time (and I mean every other time) i go into the break room to fill my mug from the water cooler, the water cooler is empty. Which is not a big deal. Not really. Because all you have to do is take the empty water cooler off, pull off the top of the new water cooler jug and then very carefully lower the cooler upside down into the water cooler stand. If you can do this task without spilling water on the stand, your pants, the carpet and the wall...you're an F-ing genius.

2. Every time (and I don't mean that hyperbolically) that I go into the copying center the copy machines are all, as if they had coordinated their bad Karma to coincide with my arrival, ALL jammed. Inevitably the worst copier with the features that I don't need has the least complicated jam. The one that I need that will two side, hole punch, collate and color code? We're talking an E4, B3, L6, T7 jam. And the toner has spilled. Seriously. It's like that.

3. Coffee. The coffee machine apparently is in a constant state of being emptied. Apparently by armless invisible people. I don't ever really see anyone going into the coffee lounge. It's actually a converted custodians closet. And when i say converted, I mean that a coffee maker has been placed into a custodian's closet. But this closet is in a pretty central location in the Great Hall of Cubicles. I should be able to see the number of people streaming into and out of this closet that apparently drain this thing dry. But every time I arrive at the "Coffee" Closet. The burner is still going and the one ounce of coffee left in the pot is both scorched and solid.

So why the armless people theory?

Well you'd think that someone would do some of the changing some of the time right? Wouldn't they? Shouldn't they?

You'd think.