Has Anyone Ever Died of a Swollen Uvula?

Because if they did, I realized as I lay in my bed trying to hold the panic at bay, having exhausted the ligaments in my jaw by holding it wide enough to stare at my obscenely absurdly large and pinkish white eleventh thumb, if they did, it must have been a horribly embarrassing ordeal for the family; an entire life rendered into naught but a cocktail party punchline with something as silly as an allergic reaction to hummus combined with alcohol (source: careful combing through seven pages of googled folk wisdom).

I got up to blog this entry only briefly before I return to my (death?)bed to lie awake until the sun rises and Dr. Hennessey's answering service will take my first of 22 calls.