I dreamed ...

of busses drving up hills in the winter. The rest of the world was silently frozen under blankets of boundless snow, but city busses all over the city were climbing hills precariously, carefully, resiliently.

I could see them all, all the busses, all across the city and the city had grown hills in all the places you would never expect. Steep hills like the Ashmun Street Hill in Sault Ste. Marie where we used to go visit Great Nana before she died. I would look at that hill with wonder and longing as the city kids slid down whenever a big storm made them shut down the road.

In my dream, all of the busses started to lose their footing. They started to swerve back and forth, some even slipped backward.

The city remained silent, as it should be on a early snowy morning.

But in the silence people started to leap from the bus windows like those who leap from burning buildings.

People were throwing luggage(!) out and one person even tossed out an old electric piano.

Bodies and objects lay in the deserted road behind the swerving struggling busses like pollution from the turbines of a power plant in the lake.

And then the busses regained their steadiness and climbed to the top of the hill.

I work in an office full of armless people

That's the only possible explanation that I can imagine.

Here's the evidence:

1. Every other time (and I mean every other time) i go into the break room to fill my mug from the water cooler, the water cooler is empty. Which is not a big deal. Not really. Because all you have to do is take the empty water cooler off, pull off the top of the new water cooler jug and then very carefully lower the cooler upside down into the water cooler stand. If you can do this task without spilling water on the stand, your pants, the carpet and the wall...you're an F-ing genius.

2. Every time (and I don't mean that hyperbolically) that I go into the copying center the copy machines are all, as if they had coordinated their bad Karma to coincide with my arrival, ALL jammed. Inevitably the worst copier with the features that I don't need has the least complicated jam. The one that I need that will two side, hole punch, collate and color code? We're talking an E4, B3, L6, T7 jam. And the toner has spilled. Seriously. It's like that.

3. Coffee. The coffee machine apparently is in a constant state of being emptied. Apparently by armless invisible people. I don't ever really see anyone going into the coffee lounge. It's actually a converted custodians closet. And when i say converted, I mean that a coffee maker has been placed into a custodian's closet. But this closet is in a pretty central location in the Great Hall of Cubicles. I should be able to see the number of people streaming into and out of this closet that apparently drain this thing dry. But every time I arrive at the "Coffee" Closet. The burner is still going and the one ounce of coffee left in the pot is both scorched and solid.

So why the armless people theory?

Well you'd think that someone would do some of the changing some of the time right? Wouldn't they? Shouldn't they?

You'd think.