Productive Waste

I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that in the three hours since I have arrived here (the lovely cubicle i call "work"):

I have filled COMPLETELY one metal wastepaperbasket approximately one foot tall, one foot in diameter with used Kleenex. (Yes, GM actually springs for Kleenex Brand Name Tissues (!) I'm shocked that the cheap bastards would shell out, too. Wait. Maybe they own Kleenex.) And for the record, I'm not being immoderate in trashing these small bits of comfort & cleanliness.

I am filling the damn things with snot EVERY OTHER MINUTE. But who wants to use a sick day when the only symptom is sore, chapped nose holes? And an endless supply of snot?

So I was just wondering if we could find a way to harness the energy generated by nose blowing in the northern half of the northern hemisphere for the entire winter solstice...we might eliminate our needs for fossil fuels. If we could use productively the actual discharge or the kleenexi (one of those surprising plurarls) or some combination thereof...we might just render space travel uneccessary.

(because you know space travel, thus far, is the best hope we have as a human race for eliminating: cancer, aids, homelessness, and reality television.)